My newest obsession.  Thanks to some amazing authors, I am in newly in love with the BBC's adaptation of Sherlock Holmes.  I'm also about 6000 words into my own attempt.  I am having a thrill of a time with it, though admittedly my own readers may not be quite so excited as I currently have no inclination to return to Potter. Ooops.  I'm assuming that will pass once I get this fic out of my system, but we shall see.

You can find some new favorite Sherlock fics at my fanfic.net account: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1363771/ObsidianEmbrace

If you're looking for my story, it's here:

http://rs-games.livejournal.com/109952.html

That's what hubby calls them (said in a deep and sweat-inducing voice). A cross between The Borg and The Mormons.  The Borg, being those futuristic half-people/half-robots, who have a chilling hive mind from which escape is impossible. And yes, we're Trek geeks, get over it.  At least I'm a Trek geek and he tolerates me.

My family is Mormon and I have been trying to escape their hold for more than a decade.  But, like any good brainwashed girl, I  have never quite managed. Always trickling back to them whenever they called.  With the requisite feelings of guilt for not doing so sooner. And nicely falling in line again, professing my testimony and the deep feelings of love from Christ.  I always believed it at the time. 

Every time. 

But then The Morg decided to take on gay marriage and set about to let everyone know about their evil, perverted ways.  They took to the pulpit to spew their hatred, sent emails by the dozen, did a bit of marching and frantic sign-waving.  And since I have a gay father in law (hubby isn't a Morg), how could I let that pass? How could I allow my children to be taught that he'll burn in hell.  Not only burning in hell, but of course, according to The Morg, he's also a twisted-minded freak of nature.  Forget the presents and the trips to the zoo--Granddad's a freak! 

So, The Morg and I parted ways.  Their beepers haven't subsided though and they call to me often, sending round Missionaries and various friends to entice me back to the hive.  I have mostly managed to resist these days, even if afterwards I've chewed my fingernails to the nub while waiting for the devil to strike me down.  Nasty piece of work, the devil. 

Why am I thinking about this today? Mostly because a good Mormon friend of mine is back in town today and I'm scheduled to go out with her and some other Mormon friends (and some others who are not friends, but who will undoubtedly want me to rejoin the truth).  I have retained a few friendships but I haven't been in the bosom of the collective for years.  The belly of the beast. 

I am tempted, sorely tempted, not to go.  I'm actually quite terrified of going.  Will the beeper activate as it always does? Will I have the strength of will--enough conviction to turn away? I have to, don't I? I don't want my kids to grow up to hate people because of who they love.  It sounds simple enough, doesn't it? But it isn't, not in the least.

Brainwashing is a big word, a world full of images of girls being married off to crazy-minded pedophiles.  And I'll grant you, the Mormons aren't like that. But they did teach me to fear Satan, to fear him so much that I've actually spent nights huddled on my couch, going over the chant to send him away in case he descends.  I spent my entire childhood and most of my adult life fearing hell.  I can at the very least not subject my children to the same. 

Change can be a good thing. Or so they say. 

I myself hate change.  Loathe it with a passion. But life seems to have come roaring down, decisively and with great purpose. And suddenly, everything's changing.  Friends are leaving, moving on or away in ways I never anticipated.  And losing friends sucks.  Sucks so hard it hurts. Tears at you, shredding at your heart and leaving you vacant and broken, no mercy. 

Everyone I used to count on, everything as well.  Changing and rearranging.  One good friend told me it would just be a new definition of us. But what if that definition is no good? No, honestly, change can't be good.  Not right now.  Not the way it's left me feeling. 

Families change as well.  I used to be able to count on my sister, at any hour of the day, even the night sometimes. But her life has changed too much, a divorce, a return to school with three young kids.  And suddenly, our sisterdom is redefined.  And I'm left adrift, to find solace in someone else.  And then I've hoped my mom would move close by, but it's recently been decided that we'll move instead, far away and back to my roots.  So, mom will stay with my sister, both of them together.  And I'm left alone again.

The kids are both in school and perhaps that's some of it.  I left my job eons ago to be with my kids.  And now... what does that mean? I used to crave the days when they were both somewhere for a period of time.  If only to give me an hour's peace.  But now, they're changing too.  I love the time we have; really am beginning to find great fun with them and our stolen moments.  And I am beginning to realize what a mistake it might have been to leave a job I loved.  But how can it be a mistake when I had years of reward and love with them.  But motherhood will do that to you: change you in ways you will never regret.  How can you regret them when they've given you life?

But with them moving onward, it's left a space.  How will I fill it? It used to be my writing, but I've lost too many people in the writing companion world.  Perhaps it was a very bad thing to write for others.  Should have listened to the whispering voices that told me so.  Because now, I have no idea what to do with myself. 

Enjoyed Team Sirius' entry today. A long and very lovely AU. Non-magic, but the wonderfulness that is this fic makes up for that. Even included little Harry and Sirius as uncle, which is a bit squeeable, even if he's not godfather, per se. :D

Includes the Blacks, which is lovely.  Need more of this verse!

Team: Sirius
Title: The Northern Line
Rating: R
Warnings: Sirius' fantasies daydreams, a few swear words, and the vulgarities that come with boy culture.
Word Count: ~25,000
Summary: Every morning before work, Sirius dodges his mother's barbs, runs the family business, sorts his brother's blunders, and trades insults with his best friend. He also falls in love.

http://rs-games.livejournal.com/125757.html

Lovely entry for Team Sirius today.  It takes place after year four and it's lovely, with hesitations between them and insecurities.  But not too much that it seems cliche.  It was a a beautiful story and had just the right amount of humour.  Loved.

Team: Sirius
Title: Break on Through
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: none
Genre(s): Fluff/Romance
Word Count: 1539
Summary: Fourteen years later, things are finally looking up.

http://rs-games.livejournal.com/124696.html

I need a jitterbug emoticon. I am all keyed up after reading the fest fics today!! What a treat they both were.  Makes me NEED to come back to this fest next year. Not necessarily as an author but as a reader, def. I have been missing such lovely stories for years?? Absolutely ridiculous. 

I have enjoyed and adored so many of the fics this time around.  Which I was not expecting in the least. I don't like the way most people portray Sirius in stories and there have been a few definite duds this time out.  I just hate stupid/arrogant/angry Sirius.  But the majority of them have done a laudable job with him.  And some people even included Harry, which mostly is a bonus. 

Squee, bring on the rest!!

Team Sirius' entry was schweeeeeetlovelybeautifulyaya! Um yeah, I really loved it. I have a real
soft spot for Sirius taking care of Remus because I think Sirius is beautiful in his soul and he's made for taking care of others. So, read. :D

Team: Sirius
Title: Hell and Back
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2137
Summary: There's a Werewolf Registry, and Remus is on it.

http://rs-games.livejournal.com/123720.html?view=2875208#t2875208

Team Remus' fic was really a suck-me-in sort of fic. I didn't intend to read it
just now, but wanted to take a peek. But, I read the whole thing anyway because
I couldn't stop. It was a war-time fic, Maurader-era. The boys go shopping for
Christmas and it is not as expected. Absolutely lovely. Her characterization
has so much to love about it. Highly recommend.

Team: Remus!
Title: A Good Deed
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, mentions of theft.
Word Count: ~3,248
Summary: Remus is dragging Sirius on a mission, but it all goes terribly
haywire...
Notes: Thanks to my beta, S. COME ON TEAM REMUS!

http://rs-games.livejournal.com/123562.html

How many times have I been told to write for me? For me.  And goodness knows I've tried. But what if I don't like to write for me? What if I get my jollies writing for other people? Is there something wrong with that?

I wrote my fest story basically because my favorite reader prefers to read stories with Godfather!Sirius and I wanted to write something that she would like. So... I wrote a R/S fic with Harry at the center of it.  And I was very happy with how it turned out.  She loved it too.  In the same fic, another reader looked at it and said it would be really annoying as it was with all the flashbacks in italics so I made it my life goal to write it without italically flashbacks.  And what a brilliant plan it ended up being.  I have rarely felt so challenged and never so accomplished.  I ended up very proud of my story.  And without writing it for others, it would be a completely different story. 

I wrote my newest R/S smexy fic because someone wanted to see a story from Remus' POV, one where he adores Sirius and the reasons why. So I wrote it.

I wrote my epic Sirius raises Harry story just because one person wanted to see a tiny little scene and she wanted more and more and more.  A life of its own. All to please someone. 

I wrote my Unforgivable series completely because someone loves it.  And I want them to continue to love it. 

Is it sin? A horrible idea?

Don't care I guess.  I write because I love the interaction, the challenge and the reward.